My life with you or with out you is forever changed
Our encounter although brief will eternally be remembered
You are that magic that comes to all, but few appreciate
You are that spirit that has entered mine.
Visit me many times in your thoughts
As I visit you again and again.
Knowing that you exist is enough
I will continue to simile for our next encounter.
Whether that is in reality or fiction.
I know from now on
That our existence is to exist
On what dimension or level
That is to be evolved
To be discovered.
A new journey has begun
New energies and feelings are given birth
Obstacles of shadows are removed
My heart has expanded,
I feel it all around.
It’s the only thing that I feel….these days……….
There may be even cracks
It may even be broken
My feelings are not contained.
My emotions have gone deep and
They have taken root.
I beseech you to grant one wish
To be able to meet once more
Event of short duration will suffice.
We need to say good bye
We need to make closure.
I didn’t expect this of then to be the way
I thought it was a beginning
I thought it was not the ending.
As is seems to be…….
Your state or your illness
I can not dare to see how
Whether is be of my causing
In that you see joy or loss.
Did we add to each other.
That for me you did and
I thought I did for you too.
There was a time and space when all that was
Was you and me.
All else became temporal
All else vanished out of view
Now all else exists
You and I no longer take space.
Time and space have become empty
Space and time have been redefined
With out you and
With out me
Like two ships
We did meet on route
But the port was not our destination
Oh how I wish to have powers of destiny
To change the present for the future
In the days since I have learnt
To hold….hold on to memory
To place my feelings and emotions
Back in time to a period before
In order to reduce the strain
Afflicted on the heart
Which everyone can see its movements.
At times it skips a beat
At the expectation of you
Every sense senses you
But it is always the others
I will come to drag you out of your self
And take you into my heart
I will come to bring out the beauty
The beauty you wish to conceal
And lift you like a pray to the sky
If no one can recognise you, I do
Because you are the one from my dreams
Don’t run away, accept your wounds
And let bravery be your shield
It takes a thousand stages
For a perfect being to evolve
Now every step of the way I will walk with you
And not ever leave you stranded
Be patient, do not open the lid too soon
Simmer away until you are ready.
Come out of hiding; open the doors and let me in
I am at your mercy, the slave to your simile
You are the music within the flower
That sung to my heart
If I see beauty it’s because I look through your eyes
But when I come back to myself
I find no one there.
My queen, I am your falcon and when I hear your heart
I will spread my wings.
If you offer me your kingdom I’ll be drunk with joy
But if you do not, I will accept,
Lower my head and surrender.
Love
Raymond
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Did I Not
did i dream and you came into it
or did you dream i came to it
or did we both dream at the same time
or did we dream the same dream
did not i say that you is like self
did i not find me in you
did you not see me in you
did we not say it were not of coincidence
did i not say that i will miss
did i not hold you in the embrace of arms
did you not hold me in yours embrace
did we not stand still infinitely
did you not journey
did i not travel
did not our paths join
did we not chose to cross into our worlds
did we not part on transit
did not you ask for mail
did you not say to wait it
did we not want to anymore sail
did we not meditate
did we not say Sah tha na ma
did we not transcend
did not the plane ascend
did we not touch some truth
did we not feel trust
did we not understand
did we not talk of sand
did we not drink red
did we not share wine
did we not take food
did we not be good
did you not take me to chile
did i not take you to doha
did we not feel to relate
did we not feel no hate
did we not share ravi
did we not exchange gifts
did you not give
did we not momentarily live
did you not sleep
did i not sleep
did we not sleep
did we not awake from the sleep
did you not share time
did I not share space
did we not breath the same air
did we want not to care
did we not connect
in this world of illusions
or did you dream i came to it
or did we both dream at the same time
or did we dream the same dream
did not i say that you is like self
did i not find me in you
did you not see me in you
did we not say it were not of coincidence
did i not say that i will miss
did i not hold you in the embrace of arms
did you not hold me in yours embrace
did we not stand still infinitely
did you not journey
did i not travel
did not our paths join
did we not chose to cross into our worlds
did we not part on transit
did not you ask for mail
did you not say to wait it
did we not want to anymore sail
did we not meditate
did we not say Sah tha na ma
did we not transcend
did not the plane ascend
did we not touch some truth
did we not feel trust
did we not understand
did we not talk of sand
did we not drink red
did we not share wine
did we not take food
did we not be good
did you not take me to chile
did i not take you to doha
did we not feel to relate
did we not feel no hate
did we not share ravi
did we not exchange gifts
did you not give
did we not momentarily live
did you not sleep
did i not sleep
did we not sleep
did we not awake from the sleep
did you not share time
did I not share space
did we not breath the same air
did we want not to care
did we not connect
in this world of illusions
FATE
Without a glimpse of possibly seeing you again
Not even half whispers of complaint
there are too many moments of silence
The past is finally the pastL
eaving everything from that time gone byonly to reminiscent
Each piece of perfect snippets
The sea of my brain will not let go of the idealIs
it not true that i can prove that she and I once had fate?
Within this suffering we turned over each choice
Unfortunately the outcome is in front of our eyes
The truth is our fate did and now does not cross path
I no longer have any ideas of what to doIn the future how will we meet?
You and I are separated by quite a distance
How can we modify the sky to let us see each other again?
What can possibly change this situation?
Not even half whispers of complaint
there are too many moments of silence
The past is finally the pastL
eaving everything from that time gone byonly to reminiscent
Each piece of perfect snippets
The sea of my brain will not let go of the idealIs
it not true that i can prove that she and I once had fate?
Within this suffering we turned over each choice
Unfortunately the outcome is in front of our eyes
The truth is our fate did and now does not cross path
I no longer have any ideas of what to doIn the future how will we meet?
You and I are separated by quite a distance
How can we modify the sky to let us see each other again?
What can possibly change this situation?
Beloved HI
I dont know if my time is going clockwise or anti clockwise.
Maybe it has stopped.
Should i change the batteries or maybe the spring mechanism.
Since i left , since one relality ended and another started.
Which is the dream version, which is the reality version.
Did i really see you , did we really talk, drink and eat.
Did we really have convergence of the hearts, minds and souls..
Or did i imagine it all.
Is my imagination taking over,
Is it creating scenarios in my mind in a phyical dimension.
Did the "Days In Dubai" exist, do they still exist?
Or did we just meet in our dreams,.........
No i have photos of you,
I have the music and books we bought,
They are real, they are phyical.
Maybe just to me.
I feel tired i feel restless, i do not feel focussed. There is this hallow feeling, something is missing. Yet i am complete. I have lost weight or has weight lost me. You have lost your voice, so too i have lost your voice...... your laughter.
My spirit met a spirit, my soul met a soul , my mind met a mind and my heart melted with a heart and yet i was on my path.....my path of truth , my journey of discovery....my route to freedom...........my search for companion-(on a)-ship. Have you returned to the ship...........have you moved on or have you moved off...If you have left, i beseech you to return to port...i implore you to look back with your heart open....on an island is where you found me and on this island i will always am to remain. Come back teach me to sail, teach to build vessels so hence too i can evade this space this time....
Khalass.... i should expect less and not more....the universe may hurt and in pains of tears as a consequrnce of our union....this union.....this co-existence......
Maisa Hi
I dont know if my time is going clockwise or anti clockwise. Maybe it has stopped. Should i change the batteries or maybe the spring mechanism. Since i left , since one relality ended and another started. Which is the dream version, which is the reality version. Did i really see you , did we really talk, drink and eat. Did we really have convergence of the hearts, mins and souls..Or did i imagine it all. Is my imagination taking over, is it creating scenarios in my mind in a phyical dimension.Did the "Days In Dubai" exist, do they still exist?
Or did we just meet in our dreams,......... no i have photos of you, i have the music and books we bought, they are real, they are phyical. Maybe just to me.
I feel tired i feel restless, i do not feel focussed. There is this hallow feeling, something is missing. Yet i am complete. I have lost weight or has weight lost me. You have lost your voice, so too i have lost your voice...... your laughter.
My spirit met a spirit, my soul met a soul , my mind met a mind and my heart melted with a heart and yet i was on my path.....my path of truth , my journey of discovery....my route to freedom...........my search for companion-(on a)-ship. Have you returned to the ship...........have you moved on or have you moved off...If you have left, i beseech you to return to port...i implore you to look back with your heart open....on an island is where you found me and on this island i will always am to remain. Come back teach me to sail, teach to build vessels so hence too i can evade this space......... this time....
Khalass.... i should expect less and not more....the universe may hurt and also be in pain of tears as a consequence of our union....this union.....this co-existence........
Maybe it is only the voice which has lost you...Get a new one and attune it again with your heat mind and soul...so once again we talk, we share ....we give.....
Coincidences like ours are rare and beautiful. They are pure as white angelic light, there is innocense in expression and symbiosis interactivity.......two become one, which defies the laws os mathematics for 2 one = 2 and not 1.....
I seek in wonder, in amazement, in anxiety feedback of back feed, which ever is to be relevenat....i seek you to either way to release me from this stagnant stance i discovered myself to be today...
i seek your feeling and understanding of the circumstances of the issues...i will not believe that all that time, space and enery was to serve no long term purpose, or that there were to be no determinants to evolve from.............I seek what ever resolution you have arrived at.....what ever positon.....what ever stance...... i (with great restraint and pain) will assure full compliance to your final decision.........
Stranded on an island, awaiting for the ships return...
I will bear whatever
As long as I know what to bear.
What I can not bear
Is the unknown …
This to me is unbearable..
I can not accept this time
After coming through the previous time.
If there was no previous time
Then this time is the same
As the time before previous time.
But there was a discontinuity in
The continuity of our time.
There was a break of
3 nights and 4 days.
It is too long to be counted as a dream.
May be I had hit my head
And thus placed in a state of unconsciousness.
Maisa Hi
Your imposed silence is hurting.
I never knew what your needs and expectations were.
Maybe there were none.....for the spirit you are..
The distance each days increases quantum folds
But my feelings are still reaching and holding...
Usually i meet people like you for a maximum of 2 hours and then we depart and forever more i treasure those "Moments" of time as one would treasure rainbow coloured diamonds. I got so use to having these short moments that i did not expect them to last for more than that. I made them acceptable for my existence, never expecting them to last for ever as i use to. For when i expected the moments to last for eternity then even that short moment would be destroyed of its loving memory. I suppose it was the fear of losing that loving memory that my expectations were reduced..
Never imagined that is this life time in this existence that those loving moments could span as they did for 3 nights and four day with you is existence in them.
I will bear whatever
As long as I know what to bear.
What I can not bear
Is the unknown …
This to me is unbearable..
I can not accept this time
After coming through the previous time.
If there was no previous time
Then this time is the same
As the time before previous time.
But there was a discontinuity in
The continuity of our time.
There was a break of
3 nights and 4 days.
It is too long to be counted as a dream.
May be I had hit my head
And thus placed in a state of unconsciousness.
I seek to know what you to have to bear.
I seek how you found those days gone.
I seek news from your heart.
I seek your guides to awake you.
I seek your voice to return.
I seek to know why your voice left
I seek an ending or a beginning.
I will seek untill am told not to seek..
Maybe it has stopped.
Should i change the batteries or maybe the spring mechanism.
Since i left , since one relality ended and another started.
Which is the dream version, which is the reality version.
Did i really see you , did we really talk, drink and eat.
Did we really have convergence of the hearts, minds and souls..
Or did i imagine it all.
Is my imagination taking over,
Is it creating scenarios in my mind in a phyical dimension.
Did the "Days In Dubai" exist, do they still exist?
Or did we just meet in our dreams,.........
No i have photos of you,
I have the music and books we bought,
They are real, they are phyical.
Maybe just to me.
I feel tired i feel restless, i do not feel focussed. There is this hallow feeling, something is missing. Yet i am complete. I have lost weight or has weight lost me. You have lost your voice, so too i have lost your voice...... your laughter.
My spirit met a spirit, my soul met a soul , my mind met a mind and my heart melted with a heart and yet i was on my path.....my path of truth , my journey of discovery....my route to freedom...........my search for companion-(on a)-ship. Have you returned to the ship...........have you moved on or have you moved off...If you have left, i beseech you to return to port...i implore you to look back with your heart open....on an island is where you found me and on this island i will always am to remain. Come back teach me to sail, teach to build vessels so hence too i can evade this space this time....
Khalass.... i should expect less and not more....the universe may hurt and in pains of tears as a consequrnce of our union....this union.....this co-existence......
Maisa Hi
I dont know if my time is going clockwise or anti clockwise. Maybe it has stopped. Should i change the batteries or maybe the spring mechanism. Since i left , since one relality ended and another started. Which is the dream version, which is the reality version. Did i really see you , did we really talk, drink and eat. Did we really have convergence of the hearts, mins and souls..Or did i imagine it all. Is my imagination taking over, is it creating scenarios in my mind in a phyical dimension.Did the "Days In Dubai" exist, do they still exist?
Or did we just meet in our dreams,......... no i have photos of you, i have the music and books we bought, they are real, they are phyical. Maybe just to me.
I feel tired i feel restless, i do not feel focussed. There is this hallow feeling, something is missing. Yet i am complete. I have lost weight or has weight lost me. You have lost your voice, so too i have lost your voice...... your laughter.
My spirit met a spirit, my soul met a soul , my mind met a mind and my heart melted with a heart and yet i was on my path.....my path of truth , my journey of discovery....my route to freedom...........my search for companion-(on a)-ship. Have you returned to the ship...........have you moved on or have you moved off...If you have left, i beseech you to return to port...i implore you to look back with your heart open....on an island is where you found me and on this island i will always am to remain. Come back teach me to sail, teach to build vessels so hence too i can evade this space......... this time....
Khalass.... i should expect less and not more....the universe may hurt and also be in pain of tears as a consequence of our union....this union.....this co-existence........
Maybe it is only the voice which has lost you...Get a new one and attune it again with your heat mind and soul...so once again we talk, we share ....we give.....
Coincidences like ours are rare and beautiful. They are pure as white angelic light, there is innocense in expression and symbiosis interactivity.......two become one, which defies the laws os mathematics for 2 one = 2 and not 1.....
I seek in wonder, in amazement, in anxiety feedback of back feed, which ever is to be relevenat....i seek you to either way to release me from this stagnant stance i discovered myself to be today...
i seek your feeling and understanding of the circumstances of the issues...i will not believe that all that time, space and enery was to serve no long term purpose, or that there were to be no determinants to evolve from.............I seek what ever resolution you have arrived at.....what ever positon.....what ever stance...... i (with great restraint and pain) will assure full compliance to your final decision.........
Stranded on an island, awaiting for the ships return...
I will bear whatever
As long as I know what to bear.
What I can not bear
Is the unknown …
This to me is unbearable..
I can not accept this time
After coming through the previous time.
If there was no previous time
Then this time is the same
As the time before previous time.
But there was a discontinuity in
The continuity of our time.
There was a break of
3 nights and 4 days.
It is too long to be counted as a dream.
May be I had hit my head
And thus placed in a state of unconsciousness.
Maisa Hi
Your imposed silence is hurting.
I never knew what your needs and expectations were.
Maybe there were none.....for the spirit you are..
The distance each days increases quantum folds
But my feelings are still reaching and holding...
Usually i meet people like you for a maximum of 2 hours and then we depart and forever more i treasure those "Moments" of time as one would treasure rainbow coloured diamonds. I got so use to having these short moments that i did not expect them to last for more than that. I made them acceptable for my existence, never expecting them to last for ever as i use to. For when i expected the moments to last for eternity then even that short moment would be destroyed of its loving memory. I suppose it was the fear of losing that loving memory that my expectations were reduced..
Never imagined that is this life time in this existence that those loving moments could span as they did for 3 nights and four day with you is existence in them.
I will bear whatever
As long as I know what to bear.
What I can not bear
Is the unknown …
This to me is unbearable..
I can not accept this time
After coming through the previous time.
If there was no previous time
Then this time is the same
As the time before previous time.
But there was a discontinuity in
The continuity of our time.
There was a break of
3 nights and 4 days.
It is too long to be counted as a dream.
May be I had hit my head
And thus placed in a state of unconsciousness.
I seek to know what you to have to bear.
I seek how you found those days gone.
I seek news from your heart.
I seek your guides to awake you.
I seek your voice to return.
I seek to know why your voice left
I seek an ending or a beginning.
I will seek untill am told not to seek..
Extract from Gitanjali Poem by Indian Poet Tagore
If thou speakest not I will fill my heart with thy silence and
endure it. I will keep still and wait like the night with starry
vigil and its head bent low with patience.
The morning will surely come, the darkness will vanish, and thy
voice pour down in golden streams breaking through the sky.
Then thy words will take wing in songs from every one of my
birds' nests, and thy melodies will break forth in flowers in all
my forest groves. On the day when the lotus bloomed, alas, my mind was straying,
and I knew it not. My basket was empty and the flower remained
unheeded.
Only now and again a sadness fell upon me, and I started up from
my dream and felt a sweet trace of a strange fragrance in the
south wind.
That vague sweetness made my heart ache with longing and it
seemed to me that is was the eager breath of the summer seeking
for its completion.
I knew not then that it was so near, that it was mine, and that
this perfect sweetness had blossomed in the depth of my own
heart.
I must launch out my boat. The languid hours pass by on the
shore--Alas for me!
The spring has done its flowering and taken leave. And now with
the burden of faded futile flowers I wait and linger.
The waves have become clamorous, and upon the bank in the shady
lane the yellow leaves flutter and fall.
What emptiness do you gaze upon! Do you not feel a thrill
passing through the air with the notes of the far-away song
floating from the other shore?
In the deep shadows of the rainy July, with secret steps, thou
walkest, silent as night, eluding all watchers.
Today the morning has closed its eyes, heedless of the insistent
calls of the loud east wind, and a thick veil has been drawn over
the ever-wakeful blue sky.
The woodlands have hushed their songs, and doors are all shut at
every house. Thou art the solitary wayfarer in this deserted
street. Oh my only friend, my best beloved, the gates are open
in my house--do not pass by like a dream.
Art thou abroad on this stormy night on thy journey of love, my
friend? The sky groans like one in despair.
I have no sleep tonight. Ever and again I open my door and look
out on the darkness, my friend!
I can see nothing before me. I wonder where lies thy path!
By what dim shore of the ink-black river, by what far edge of the
frowning forest, through what mazy depth of gloom art thou
threading thy course to come to me, my friend?
Beloved I could go on and on maybe ………
Knowing you was magic
Not knowing you now is tragic
Not knowing you before knowing you was ignorance
Not knowing you after having known you is intolerance
Not knowing now is crazy
Knowing now nothing is not easy
Having known you to exist
Now having to know to insist
Having known you to see
Now having to know to be free
Having known you to hear
Now having to know to not to be near
Having known you to touch
Now having to know not to much
Having known you to hold
Now having to know to be cold
Having known you to talk
Now having to know how to again walk
Having known you to simile
Now having to know to what while
Having known you to laugh
Now having to know my other halve
Having known you to share
Now having to know whether you care
Having known you to be with
Now having to know why you hid
Having known you to eat
Now having to know when we meet
Having known you to drink
Now having to know what to think
Beloved I could go on and on maybe ………
Not knowing you now is tragic
Not knowing you before knowing you was ignorance
Not knowing you after having known you is intolerance
Not knowing now is crazy
Knowing now nothing is not easy
Having known you to exist
Now having to know to insist
Having known you to see
Now having to know to be free
Having known you to hear
Now having to know to not to be near
Having known you to touch
Now having to know not to much
Having known you to hold
Now having to know to be cold
Having known you to talk
Now having to know how to again walk
Having known you to simile
Now having to know to what while
Having known you to laugh
Now having to know my other halve
Having known you to share
Now having to know whether you care
Having known you to be with
Now having to know why you hid
Having known you to eat
Now having to know when we meet
Having known you to drink
Now having to know what to think
Beloved I could go on and on maybe ………
Saw You Yesterday
Saw you yesterday and just as I were asking you to stay i awoke
i am not missing you but only just realizing you again
i read your words from your hands, when you wrote the constitution
it were an amazing piece of literature, an amazing work in art
where are you, can you not write anymore
are words and messages censored
i am at times called a prophet but i am not him yet
at times i am called an angel but i am not her too
and most of all at times I call myself god but god is not me yet
i live here and not there
then in the next instance i am there and not here
in small moments i am there and here and that is when i be god
i have lost the time and the space
watches dont work, watches dont exist
there is no time betwix the yesterday and tomorrow
and so in timeless and nothingness i do exist
i am not missing you but only just realizing you again
i read your words from your hands, when you wrote the constitution
it were an amazing piece of literature, an amazing work in art
where are you, can you not write anymore
are words and messages censored
i am at times called a prophet but i am not him yet
at times i am called an angel but i am not her too
and most of all at times I call myself god but god is not me yet
i live here and not there
then in the next instance i am there and not here
in small moments i am there and here and that is when i be god
i have lost the time and the space
watches dont work, watches dont exist
there is no time betwix the yesterday and tomorrow
and so in timeless and nothingness i do exist
THIS LIFETIME
In a life full of changes,
I'm waiting for a love silently
Having passed so many turns, so much disappointed feelings
I don't wanna say good bye, I'm still hoping for a love legend
I won't give it up, I'm not afraid to keep running
It's your hands that silently lightens up this love
It's your voice that accompanies my dreams every night
I give out my true heart and my real beauty
I think of you endlessly every day
In this lifetime,
I'm willing to abandon all earthly things to fly away with you
We'll laugh and sing in the wind
Feeling grateful for the faith that I can meet you
All bitterness will become sweetness
No matter if the sky and sea will become old,
I only know that this love will only stay young
I wanna make a promise in this lifetime
To hold each other in the next
I'm waiting for a love silently
Having passed so many turns, so much disappointed feelings
I don't wanna say good bye, I'm still hoping for a love legend
I won't give it up, I'm not afraid to keep running
It's your hands that silently lightens up this love
It's your voice that accompanies my dreams every night
I give out my true heart and my real beauty
I think of you endlessly every day
In this lifetime,
I'm willing to abandon all earthly things to fly away with you
We'll laugh and sing in the wind
Feeling grateful for the faith that I can meet you
All bitterness will become sweetness
No matter if the sky and sea will become old,
I only know that this love will only stay young
I wanna make a promise in this lifetime
To hold each other in the next
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