You wouldn’t believe what I believe
You wouldn’t trust what I trust
As always I am at the cusp
In space and in time
I am not alone for I have ray
& ray is not alone for he has me
However the union
As there once was
Is proving still elusive
Maybe she is exclusive
So in her absence & in the interim
He writes, with photos and words
For when she comes
She will know me
Even if i am not there anymore...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008 5:44:06 PM
Monday, 20 July 2009
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Outpourings of the Past
'Knowing you was Magic' the rest..
Wednesday, 4 August, 2004 12:11 PM
Knowing you was magicNot knowing you now is tragicNot knowing you before knowing you was ignoranceNot knowing you after having known you is intolerance Not knowing now is crazyKnowing now nothing is not easyHaving known you to existNow having to know to insistHaving known you to seeNow having to know to be freeHaving known you to hearNow having to know to not to be nearHaving known you to touchNow having to know to non muchHaving known you to holdNow having to know to be coldHaving known you to talkNow having to know how to again walkHaving known you to simileNow having to know to what whileHaving known you to laughNow having to know my other halveHaving known you to shareNow having to know whether you careHaving known you to be withNow having to know why you hidHaving known you to eatNow having to know when we meetHaving known you to drinkNow having to know what to think My Beloved I could go on and on maybe ………
LoveRaymond (24 days later)
My Diary Entry For Today Was As Follows:......................................................
Sunday, 15 August, 2004 12:16 PM
Was on the edge of being able to fly
As i have done many times in my sleep
I thought now it was for real
I thought i had reached the edge
I thought i had reached the epoch of my existence
I thought i had reached the erudite one
The one i have seeked and seeked
We compelled on issues of peace
On issues of harmony of healing within and with -out
We compelled on history and herstory
On past pains and few gains
We compelled over food and drink
Over time and space
We compelled over nothing at first and everything atsecond.
On everything and everything we compelled
The match was a match to eternity
It was perfection at the most.
It was timely its was asbolutely necessary
Through all the experieces and all the obstacles
They all suddenly made sense, they were all required
Pieces of the confusion in me.
The picture became complete
I saw with clarity and vision
But your light has been dimmed
To only a hope again
I am back to the hope scenario!
It at times feels like a hope-less scenario
With out you in it.
Seeking............
Tuesday, 13 July, 2004 12:23 PM
Beloved Hi
Your imposed silence is hurting.I never knew what your needs and expectations were.Maybe there were none.....for the spirit you are..The distance each days increases quantum foldsBut my feelings are still reaching and holding...Usually i meet people like you for a maximum of 2hours and then we depart and forever more i treasurethose "Moments" of time as one would treasure rainbowcoloured raindrops. I got so use to having these shortmoments that i did not expect them to last for morethan that. I made them acceptable for my existence,never expecting them to last for ever as i use to. Forwhen i expected the moments to last for eternity theneven that short moment would be destroyed of itsloving memory. I suppose it was the fear of losingthat loving memory that my expectations were reduced..Never imagined that is this life time in thisexistence that those loving moments could span as theydid for 3 nights and four day with you is existence inthem. I will bear whateverAs long as I know what to bear.What I can not bearIs the unknown …This to me is unbearable..I can not accept this timeAfter coming through the previous time.If there was no previous timeThen this time is the sameAs the time before previous time.But there was a discontinuity in The continuity of our time.There was a break of3 nights and 4 days.It is too long to be counted as a dream.May be I had hit my headAnd thus placed in a state of unconsciousness.I seek to know what you to have to bear.I seek how you found those days gone.I seek news from your heart.I seek your guides to awake you.I seek your voice to return.I seek to know why your voice leftI seek an ending or a beginning.I will seek untill am told not to seek..
Restless in Doha
Tuesday, 13 July, 2004 11:11 AM
I dont know if my time is going clockwise or anticlockwise. Maybe it has stopped. Should i change the batteries or maybe the spring mechanism. Since i left, since one relality ended and another started. Whichis the dream version, which is the reality version.Did i really see you , did we really talk, drink andeat. Did we really have convergence of the hearts,mins and souls..Or did i imagine it all. Is myimagination taking over, is it creating scenarios in my mind in a phyical dimension.Did the "Days In Dubai"exist, do they still exist?Or did we just meet in our dreams,......... no i havephotos of you, i have the music and books we bought,they are real, they are phyical. Maybe just to me.I feel tired i feel restless, i do not feel focussed.There is this hallow feeling, something is missing.Yet i am complete. I have lost weight or has weightlost me. You have lost your voice, so too i have lostyour voice...... your laughter. My spirit met a spirit, my soul met a soul , my mindmet a mind and my heart melted with a heart and yet iwas on my path.....my path of truth , my journey ofdiscovery....my route to freedom...........my searchfor companion-(on a)-ship. Have you returned to theship...........have you moved on or have you movedoff...If you have left, i beseech you to return toport...i implore you to look back with your heartopen....on an island is where you found me and on thisisland i will always am to remain. Come back teach meto sail, teach to build vessels so hence too i canevade this space......... this time....Khalass.... i should expect less and not more....theuniverse may hurt and also be in pain of tears as aconsequence of our union....this union.....thisco-existence........Maybe it is only the voice which has lost you...Get anew one and attune it again with your heat mind andsoul...so once again we talk, we share ....wegive.....Coincidences like ours are rare and beautiful. Theyare pure as white angelic light, there is innocense inexpression and symbiosis interactivity.......twobecome one, which defies the laws os mathematics for 2one = 2 and not 1.....I seek in wonder, in amazement, in anxiety feedback ofback feed, which ever is to be relevenat....i seek youto either way to release me from this stagnant stancei discovered myself to be today...i seek your feeling and understanding of thecircumstances of the issues...i will not believe thatall that time, space and enery was to serve no longterm purpose, or that there were to be no determinantsto evolve from.............I seek what ever resolutionyou have arrived at.....what ever positon.....whatever stance...... i (with great restraint and pain)will assure full compliance to your finaldecision.........Stranded on an island, awaiting for the shipsreturn..
my logs......
Friday, 30 July, 2004 11:48 AM
Today (18th July 2004) is harder than yesterdayMy heart filling and emptyingAlmost at the same time.I check almost every time stepFor some news from you.It is becoming unbearableTo wait for you to return Knowing that you will returnWhen is the great issue.I wish not to existNot in this stateSuspended in space and timeLost in space and time.I gave so much energyI walked away with no doubtMy imagination had not imaginedEmptiness in space and timeMy appetite has goneI am on a diet of none choosingMy zest for life has goneNo longer wish to look againNo longer wish to share openlyRound and round in circles I have beenMeeting you time and time againEach time I was not preparedThere was something’s I needed to evolveThat way I could move on.And yet still now I need to evolve.Again and againWhat is it to be nowI need to go deep inside this timeAnd I need to reach high aboveLike you I need to touch my guidesNeed my guides to touch me.A solution has to be defined.A resolution has to me made.My life and my world are separateEither you come into my lifeOr you enter into my worldIn both I need a companion.
19th July 19, 2004
My heart has become fragileIts energy has been drainedIf you are leaving today Then now (14:41pm) you are on the plane14.50 pm is the schedule time of departureYour flight is Middle East Air flight 427Due to arrive 17.10 pm in Beirut17.10 pm will bring some closure.14.50 pm in 4 minutes will bring some closureMaybe you are not going today.Maybe it is still on the 24th July 19, 2004That you end you tenure in Dubai.To say the least the recent days goneHave been nothing but brutalAlone with my emotions and feelingsI could have sacrificed myself. You taxed me not to worry.These are some words to hold onto.I still love the universe.I still seek its energy.I need to meditateTo seek within To search withoutSome meaningMaybe it was just to exchange books As we did give.But but that could not been allThe universe plans are not that small.21/07/04I will write our edition of the Celestine ProphecyIn this version we will discover the 10 and the 11insights.But first I will need to discover you again.It will start with a new search.Tell me how I will find you againWhere and whenGive me some directionsGive me a point in space and time.I don’t care how far I don’t care how longI don’t even care which lifeJust I care where and when.I will travel on massI will travel on airI will travel on waterI will travel through dreamsI will travel through various scenesThrough forests and junglesThrough plains and dessertsOn mountain topsAnd on valley floorsIn ancient caves And in hearts and mindsI will seek and seek.Under every stoneUnder shadows of every leaf,Above every cloud And behind every starI will seek and seek.22/07/04In every pray I ask for youIn every meditation I echo your nameSoon I know the date, time and placeWill arrive where you arrive.To then it is a new journeyRumi wrote “The cure is in the pain”As now I am in the pain And so soon I will find in me the cure.23/07/04I believe that we don’t hold within our heartsBut we hold each others.That is why our hearts are always at painsFor they always long their true person.When the hearts within cryThey cry because of their isolation.When two loves meet And each has the others heartThen there is a sense of wholenessA fulfillment of completeness.A union of destiny and fate.
Wednesday, 4 August, 2004 12:11 PM
Knowing you was magicNot knowing you now is tragicNot knowing you before knowing you was ignoranceNot knowing you after having known you is intolerance Not knowing now is crazyKnowing now nothing is not easyHaving known you to existNow having to know to insistHaving known you to seeNow having to know to be freeHaving known you to hearNow having to know to not to be nearHaving known you to touchNow having to know to non muchHaving known you to holdNow having to know to be coldHaving known you to talkNow having to know how to again walkHaving known you to simileNow having to know to what whileHaving known you to laughNow having to know my other halveHaving known you to shareNow having to know whether you careHaving known you to be withNow having to know why you hidHaving known you to eatNow having to know when we meetHaving known you to drinkNow having to know what to think My Beloved I could go on and on maybe ………
LoveRaymond (24 days later)
My Diary Entry For Today Was As Follows:......................................................
Sunday, 15 August, 2004 12:16 PM
Was on the edge of being able to fly
As i have done many times in my sleep
I thought now it was for real
I thought i had reached the edge
I thought i had reached the epoch of my existence
I thought i had reached the erudite one
The one i have seeked and seeked
We compelled on issues of peace
On issues of harmony of healing within and with -out
We compelled on history and herstory
On past pains and few gains
We compelled over food and drink
Over time and space
We compelled over nothing at first and everything atsecond.
On everything and everything we compelled
The match was a match to eternity
It was perfection at the most.
It was timely its was asbolutely necessary
Through all the experieces and all the obstacles
They all suddenly made sense, they were all required
Pieces of the confusion in me.
The picture became complete
I saw with clarity and vision
But your light has been dimmed
To only a hope again
I am back to the hope scenario!
It at times feels like a hope-less scenario
With out you in it.
Seeking............
Tuesday, 13 July, 2004 12:23 PM
Beloved Hi
Your imposed silence is hurting.I never knew what your needs and expectations were.Maybe there were none.....for the spirit you are..The distance each days increases quantum foldsBut my feelings are still reaching and holding...Usually i meet people like you for a maximum of 2hours and then we depart and forever more i treasurethose "Moments" of time as one would treasure rainbowcoloured raindrops. I got so use to having these shortmoments that i did not expect them to last for morethan that. I made them acceptable for my existence,never expecting them to last for ever as i use to. Forwhen i expected the moments to last for eternity theneven that short moment would be destroyed of itsloving memory. I suppose it was the fear of losingthat loving memory that my expectations were reduced..Never imagined that is this life time in thisexistence that those loving moments could span as theydid for 3 nights and four day with you is existence inthem. I will bear whateverAs long as I know what to bear.What I can not bearIs the unknown …This to me is unbearable..I can not accept this timeAfter coming through the previous time.If there was no previous timeThen this time is the sameAs the time before previous time.But there was a discontinuity in The continuity of our time.There was a break of3 nights and 4 days.It is too long to be counted as a dream.May be I had hit my headAnd thus placed in a state of unconsciousness.I seek to know what you to have to bear.I seek how you found those days gone.I seek news from your heart.I seek your guides to awake you.I seek your voice to return.I seek to know why your voice leftI seek an ending or a beginning.I will seek untill am told not to seek..
Restless in Doha
Tuesday, 13 July, 2004 11:11 AM
I dont know if my time is going clockwise or anticlockwise. Maybe it has stopped. Should i change the batteries or maybe the spring mechanism. Since i left, since one relality ended and another started. Whichis the dream version, which is the reality version.Did i really see you , did we really talk, drink andeat. Did we really have convergence of the hearts,mins and souls..Or did i imagine it all. Is myimagination taking over, is it creating scenarios in my mind in a phyical dimension.Did the "Days In Dubai"exist, do they still exist?Or did we just meet in our dreams,......... no i havephotos of you, i have the music and books we bought,they are real, they are phyical. Maybe just to me.I feel tired i feel restless, i do not feel focussed.There is this hallow feeling, something is missing.Yet i am complete. I have lost weight or has weightlost me. You have lost your voice, so too i have lostyour voice...... your laughter. My spirit met a spirit, my soul met a soul , my mindmet a mind and my heart melted with a heart and yet iwas on my path.....my path of truth , my journey ofdiscovery....my route to freedom...........my searchfor companion-(on a)-ship. Have you returned to theship...........have you moved on or have you movedoff...If you have left, i beseech you to return toport...i implore you to look back with your heartopen....on an island is where you found me and on thisisland i will always am to remain. Come back teach meto sail, teach to build vessels so hence too i canevade this space......... this time....Khalass.... i should expect less and not more....theuniverse may hurt and also be in pain of tears as aconsequence of our union....this union.....thisco-existence........Maybe it is only the voice which has lost you...Get anew one and attune it again with your heat mind andsoul...so once again we talk, we share ....wegive.....Coincidences like ours are rare and beautiful. Theyare pure as white angelic light, there is innocense inexpression and symbiosis interactivity.......twobecome one, which defies the laws os mathematics for 2one = 2 and not 1.....I seek in wonder, in amazement, in anxiety feedback ofback feed, which ever is to be relevenat....i seek youto either way to release me from this stagnant stancei discovered myself to be today...i seek your feeling and understanding of thecircumstances of the issues...i will not believe thatall that time, space and enery was to serve no longterm purpose, or that there were to be no determinantsto evolve from.............I seek what ever resolutionyou have arrived at.....what ever positon.....whatever stance...... i (with great restraint and pain)will assure full compliance to your finaldecision.........Stranded on an island, awaiting for the shipsreturn..
my logs......
Friday, 30 July, 2004 11:48 AM
Today (18th July 2004) is harder than yesterdayMy heart filling and emptyingAlmost at the same time.I check almost every time stepFor some news from you.It is becoming unbearableTo wait for you to return Knowing that you will returnWhen is the great issue.I wish not to existNot in this stateSuspended in space and timeLost in space and time.I gave so much energyI walked away with no doubtMy imagination had not imaginedEmptiness in space and timeMy appetite has goneI am on a diet of none choosingMy zest for life has goneNo longer wish to look againNo longer wish to share openlyRound and round in circles I have beenMeeting you time and time againEach time I was not preparedThere was something’s I needed to evolveThat way I could move on.And yet still now I need to evolve.Again and againWhat is it to be nowI need to go deep inside this timeAnd I need to reach high aboveLike you I need to touch my guidesNeed my guides to touch me.A solution has to be defined.A resolution has to me made.My life and my world are separateEither you come into my lifeOr you enter into my worldIn both I need a companion.
19th July 19, 2004
My heart has become fragileIts energy has been drainedIf you are leaving today Then now (14:41pm) you are on the plane14.50 pm is the schedule time of departureYour flight is Middle East Air flight 427Due to arrive 17.10 pm in Beirut17.10 pm will bring some closure.14.50 pm in 4 minutes will bring some closureMaybe you are not going today.Maybe it is still on the 24th July 19, 2004That you end you tenure in Dubai.To say the least the recent days goneHave been nothing but brutalAlone with my emotions and feelingsI could have sacrificed myself. You taxed me not to worry.These are some words to hold onto.I still love the universe.I still seek its energy.I need to meditateTo seek within To search withoutSome meaningMaybe it was just to exchange books As we did give.But but that could not been allThe universe plans are not that small.21/07/04I will write our edition of the Celestine ProphecyIn this version we will discover the 10 and the 11insights.But first I will need to discover you again.It will start with a new search.Tell me how I will find you againWhere and whenGive me some directionsGive me a point in space and time.I don’t care how far I don’t care how longI don’t even care which lifeJust I care where and when.I will travel on massI will travel on airI will travel on waterI will travel through dreamsI will travel through various scenesThrough forests and junglesThrough plains and dessertsOn mountain topsAnd on valley floorsIn ancient caves And in hearts and mindsI will seek and seek.Under every stoneUnder shadows of every leaf,Above every cloud And behind every starI will seek and seek.22/07/04In every pray I ask for youIn every meditation I echo your nameSoon I know the date, time and placeWill arrive where you arrive.To then it is a new journeyRumi wrote “The cure is in the pain”As now I am in the pain And so soon I will find in me the cure.23/07/04I believe that we don’t hold within our heartsBut we hold each others.That is why our hearts are always at painsFor they always long their true person.When the hearts within cryThey cry because of their isolation.When two loves meet And each has the others heartThen there is a sense of wholenessA fulfillment of completeness.A union of destiny and fate.
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
We Must Dream To Our Reality
Reality is but forth from Dreams
Thus Dream(s) come first
And thus once a reality is established
Then again it is necessary
To create the next reality
For reality can not exist without
That Dream(s)
Like day can not exist without Night
We must Dream to our reality
Dreams are necessary
When the two are in one
We have a portal forwarding
Thus Dream(s) come first
And thus once a reality is established
Then again it is necessary
To create the next reality
For reality can not exist without
That Dream(s)
Like day can not exist without Night
We must Dream to our reality
Dreams are necessary
When the two are in one
We have a portal forwarding
We Did Not Leave Each Other.........
We did not leave one another in povertyWe aren't needy thus greedyYou are free to love And you are free to be lovedTherein is my blessing for it, with my hearts felt love... I have read too much words of GibranI have read too many thoughts of Rumi.He asks me " R U ME", each time i Call the Beloved.And so this heart in me is nowBeyond this body of me How else can one be.But to continue to grow,Not inwardly to a collapsed pointBut outwardly to an opened heartTo an awakened heart that was once sleeping I look at the seed in the left handThen i look at the fruit in the right hand.Betwix the two is the expanseOf the universe of time and space.If that growth is denied then there is no fruit And no need of the seed eitherNo need for the farmer or his stockNo need for earth, wind, fire, light and waterThe whole purpose of existence is sacrificedBecause of our two hands and their limited holds
As long as I keep reading and especially Rumi then I find sustenance ……..
As long as I keep reading and especially Rumi then I find sustenance ……..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)